No you cannot help me

I'm a terrible ditherer. When I shop, I like to take my time. Weigh up all the options. Look at every item in the shop then return to the one I had in mind originally.

That's probably why bloke has just given me the money to get my birthday present rather than come with me to pick something out.

I hate it when shop assistants approach me and ask if I need help. I know they're just doing their job, and they're all on commission so it really does make sense, but it puts me right off.

And the language thing just makes things more uncomfortable. Try buying lipstick in MAC when you have a mental blank on the words for "lighter" "shiny" and "matt". Argh, it's much easier done in England.

I should just embrace it, as bloke does on the rare occasions I do go shopping with him. (Christmas Eve is the only one I can really think of). He needs a book for his dad, so he asks the guy in El Corte Ingles for his advice, and gets ten pointed out to him immediately.

He has a list of DVDs he wants, but rather than find them on the shelves, he gives the list to an assistant, and she goes and gets them all for him And she wraps them. Amazing.

That's why he can do the Xmas shopping in under an hour, while it takes me weeks.

But it was a different story when we were looking for some new horror DVDs in England a while back. You'd think we'd asked the worker in the shop to eat his name badge by the look on his face, not recommend a few good titles to us.

Of course it could just be that he wasn't a fan of zombie movies, but I really think we're more of a browsing nation than Spain.

Take pharmacies for example. I dread going to them. You are forcefully not allowed to browse. Everything is kept behind the counter. You must tell the pharmacist about your embarrassing problem. In front of a queue full of people.

I know I should stop being so British and stuffy about it (It never seems to bother any Spanish people I know – who think I'm being an idiot)

But I dream of Boots. Where you can buy your spot cream, Tampax etc. without having to announce it to the world.

Is that really so much to ask?