20/10/2010

The big three – oh

When you were a kid, where did you think you would be when you were 30? Married with kids? Doing your dream job? Or maybe even rich and famous? Perhaps you didn't even think that far ahead. After all, when you're small, 30 seems so old. Almost a lifetime away.

I never really gave turning 30 a thought. It was like a far off milestone that I could see in my imagined future. Something to be filed away with 'meeting the man of my dreams' and 'getting married' and 'settling down' and all that jazz.

It wasn't really, until about a year and a half ago that I began to consider it.
At the time someone else at work was leaving her 20s behind. She turned to me and asked: "So, have you got any plans for your 30th?"

After telling her I didn't, it was ages away after all, I had a moment of clarity. It wasn't a far off event any more, it was actually going to happen.

It wasn't that I was thinking oh my god, I'm going to be so old, or anything like that. Bemoaning the loss of my youth. God not at all. I had a total blast in my Twenties, but I'm deffo moving into a different place now.

What does being 30 mean? Is it actually just a number? Will I feel any different? Do I actually feel any different now than I did when I was 18? Does anyone? I've learned a lot of lessons since the day I arrived in London with a suitcase full of bad clothes and almost pissed myself with excitement at being in a place which was so 'not Durham'.

But in many ways I'm still the same. I still get excited about going to new places, still try to see the best in people. Still hope that one day high speed trains will replace the need for air travel.

It's been a big year for me. I've had my first real brush with serious-ish health problems, I got engaged, and now (well on Saturday to be precise) I'm going to turn 30.

By the time my mum was my age she's been married for nearly ten years and had two kids (with me still to come) The bloke's mum had four by the same point. I guess it's just a bit different for our generation.

But I wouldn't have it any other way. And thanks to the bloke I'm managing to combine celebrating the start of my third decade with one of my big dreams – going to New York. I am one lucky girl.

We fly on Saturday, and once again I find myself almost pissing myself with excitement. I guess some things just never change no matter how old you get.